Earlier this week the comedy, well not comedy but unfortunate reality, in the news was some maniac who was high eating the face off another person. The jokes immediately began that this was the beginning of THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE!. Alas, it was not and it turns out that it was some nutcase drugged up on some new designer dope called "bath salts".
Be the insanity as it may, the USA is currently undergoing a real apocalypse, one that does involve eating and food...just not each other... this is of course, dun duh duh...the OBESITY APOCALYPSE!!
No lie, I am not being mean or cruel or "unfeeling", the cold, hard facts are this, America is getting FATTER. The adults are getting fatter, the kids are getting fatter, everyone is turning into an amorphos blob of processed garbage food made by several multinational companies who shall remain nameless here but are easily googlable. (yea sure, I made that word up.)
So, where was I, oh yea, Obesity Apocalypse. What are we doing wrong?... well not we, I'm not gaining weight by the moment, but over 30% of Americans? Several things. One is eating processed food. Not gonna go into why it's bad for you, just again, google it. Two is not f***ing exercising, or waiting until you are over 250 pounds and going to the gym to lift weights to try and "get back into shape". Three is spending all our (sure I'll toss my hat into this ring as I can't go around the block on a bicycle to get some groceries without almost getting obliterated by the above mentioned hyped up on processed garbage in a monster SUV blubber mass.) time in idiotic 2 ton steel, stress inducing crap mobiles called, automobiles. In order for me to go a mile from my house to get anything I have to DRIVE THERE. That is RETARDED! When we replaced small town America with strip mall suburbia and SUV's we condemned ourselves to a sort of toxic hell of never ending short trips of despair using things better designed to get people across country instead of across the GODD**N block.